


Five Times Sherlock C**kblocked John and One Time He Didn't

by MizUndahStood



Series: The Doctor, The Detective, & A Behaviorist [4]
Category: Benedict Cumberbatch - Fandom, Martin Freeman - Fandom, Sherlock (TV), Sherlock Holmes & Related Fandoms
Genre: 5+1 Things, Aunt-Niece Relationship, Cockblocking Sherlock, F/M, Fluff and Humor, Friendship, John Gets The Girl... Eventually, Prompt Fic, Romantic Friendship, Sherlock Being Sherlock, Sherlock Has No Shame, The Fourth Continent, Vacation/Reading Week, Washington D.C.
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-08-19
Updated: 2015-08-19
Packaged: 2018-04-11 19:34:29
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,271
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4449512
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MizUndahStood/pseuds/MizUndahStood
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Five times Sherlock thwarted John’s attempts to add a “Fourth Continent” while on holiday in Washington, DC.</p><p>And one time he didn't...</p>
            </blockquote>





	Five Times Sherlock C**kblocked John and One Time He Didn't

**Author's Note:**

> A “Reading Week Adventures" one-shot written for the Fanfiction Fanatics "5+1" challenge in honor of the Facebook group reaching 600 members.
> 
>  
> 
> Continue the narrative in:  
> “Femme Fatale” http://archiveofourown.org/works/4543182

I.

John and Anna had decided to wait to until everyone was sound asleep to sneak out onto the upstairs veranda for a bit of stargazing. 

It was a lovely night. The sky was clear and the March night air was crisp, lending itself to quite well to snuggling beneath a blanket. John arrived first. He had on pyjamas and his favorite patchwork dressing gown. He looked over the railing, across the vast backyard at Anna's brother's house, and smiled. What a strange but wonderful trip this had been.  
He and Anna had connected in a way he'd never really thought was possible. Sure, they'd flirted, and exchanged a few glances. But John couldn't stop thinking about that day in the butler's pantry. Or the reverse strip tease. Or making out in the back of her car like teenagers.  
He stood impatiently waiting for her. Hands shoved into the pockets of his dressing gown, rocking from heel to toe in anticipation, when Anna finally appeared.  
She had tentatively stuck her head out of the French doors leading from her room, to have a look around before stepping onto the deck.  
When she saw John standing by the far railing her eyes lit up, and she tip toed over to him. She'd brought one of her favorite quilts - a large, very old quilt with a compass appliqué. She also had a thermos filled with freshly made hot chocolate that had a splash of rum and a little Baileys.  
John heard her footfalls, moved to greet her, and relieved her of the quilt. They rubbed noses and smiled at each other.  
"What's this then?" He motioned toward the thermos.  
"Just a little hot chocolate." she grinned.  
"Oh yeah?"  
"Mmm-hmm. Flavored with spicy naughty things. Most decidedly not for kids."  
They walk arm in arm over to a double chaise, settle in and cover themselves with the quilt. Then, Anna pours them each a cup of hot chocolate. John reaches for his, gives a sniff, and takes a sip.  
"Ohhh, that's delicious. Thanks, Luv."  
"You're welcome, Johnny." she purred.  
The two snuggle together and Anna leans in, placing her head on John's shoulder as they look up at the stars above. Anna giggles, then begins to sing:  
♪I may not always love you♪  
♪But long as there are stars above you♪  
♪You'll never need to doubt it♪  
♪I'll make you so sure about it♪

John nuzzles Anna's ear, and whispers "I love when you sing to me. Your voice goes straight to my..."

Just then, Sherlock appears. He pads over to the chaise, lifts the quilt and helps himself to the last bit of space left. He nudges Anna with his bum. Anna sighs at the loss of space, and at being forced budge up by turning herself into John. Sideways.  
"Jeezus, Sherlock!! TIMING!..." John grumbled.  
"Marshmallows, Jawn. She forgot the marshmallows."  
Sherlock blithely plopped Anna's forgotten bundle of homemade marshmallows onto her hip just before producing a mug from the pocket of his dressing gown and pouring himself some hot chocolate from Anna's thermos. 

"This is absolutely scrumptious. Wonder how this would taste cold. With crushed ice, maybe?" Sherlock raised and lowered both his eyebrows as he sipped contentedly.

"Like a sort of "Choc-tail", I'd imagine." Anna scoffed.  
"Mmmm..." Sherlock crinkled his nose and nodded as he sipped.

II.

John and Anna are enjoying a few moments alone exploring the library while Sherlock and Anna's niece Marley have a tea party down the hall in the youngling's bedroom. 

Anna gets a gleam in her eye, and has an idea. She's never danced with John, and figures this would be a great time to have a little fun. She fetched up her iDevice and scrolled through her music library to choose a song.

She decides on the instrumental version of “Twilite Speedball”. Anna smiles at John, and begins to dance. At first he's fixed where he stands, as he watches her glide seductively around the room, but shrugs and decides to join her. 

They're laughing and having a ball with one another. Without ever having danced before, they've found a comfortable rhythm. Their movements are becoming increasingly coordinated and before the song ends, the two are standing in front of a mirror, back to front, but shoulder to shoulder. They're staring across their shoulders at each other with a passion that is nearly palpable.  
The song “Pets” begins and the pair begin dancing again, this time a little more sensually than before.  
John sweeps Anna in front of him, cups her face, and begins to kiss her deeply. Anna breaks the kiss, to look at John breathlessly. Then purses her lips, and exhales.  
"Oh, Johnny. I..."

Before she can finish her thought, Sherlock and Marley burst into the library, giggling and full of energy. Sherlock sweeps Anna away, and twirls her around several times.

All things being equal, John is very good natured about the intrusion.  
Marley looks up at John, who picks her up, fastens the youngster to his hip, and sways her gently. Marley lays her head on John's shoulder sweetly, throws her arms around his neck and sighs contentedly.

III.

John sat on his bed blinking the last bit of sleep from his eyes when he heard Anna singing in the shower:

♪There's a place for us♪  
♪A time and place for us♪

He padded quietly across the room and leaned against the bathroom door jamb to listen more closely for a moment before deciding to enter. He plucks two towels from a stack on the vanity he shared with Sherlock on their side of the Jack and Jill bathroom. 

John began to smile as Anna's voice got nearer. He reckoned her singing voice was quite lovely, and listening to it ping around the shower made his toes curl. 

♪Just hold my hand and we're half way there♪  
♪Hold my hand, and I'll take you there♪  
♪SomeHOW!...♪  
♪Somedaaay....♪  
♪Some-where...♪

Anna hums as she rinses and shuts off the water. When she opens the shower door, she steps directly into a waiting towel. John holds the towel open thoughtfully, swaddles Anna, and pulls her into a big hug. He smiles at her adoringly as he reaches behind him for the other towel, so that he can dry Anna's hair for her. 

Unfortunately, his hand is met by Sherlock's, as the groggy detective scoops up the towel.  
"Thanks, Jawn..."

He nudges the pair out of his way as he approaches the shower. Before starting the water, Sherlock hangs the towel on a hook, then shamelessly throws off his dressing gown and lets it float down to the floor.  
Anna quirks a brow, cants her head slightly, and worries her bottom lip at bit as she takes in the sight of Sherlock's bare bottom. 

"Anna?"  
"Hmm? Yep. Whut!?"  
"I'm over here, Luv." John waves.  
"John! Omigosh! I'm sorry. It's just, ummm..." She points behind her to the shower, as Sherlock starts the water running. 

He flings open the shower door and shoves an outstretched palm toward Anna.  
"Soap!" he bellowed. "Need soap, please. Don't fancy smelling like a sugar cookie." Sherlock firmly states in his lower register. 

IV.

Anna is perched atop the breakfast bar, bent forward to lace up her trainers. John leans in and places a light kiss on her forehead. She nuzzles his nose, and smiles before raising up to pull her hair into a ponytail.  
The sight of her, sitting with her back perfectly straight as her bosoms are held proudly aloft by her sports bra makes John feel more than slightly randy. 

"Jeezus, Anna... If you weren't going out for a run, I'd have you right here on this fecking counter at least twice before Sherlock wakes up." He licked his lips, and smiled devilishly.  
"Inappropriate. And ill advised as well, Jawn." Sherlock muttered as he yawned, scratched his nethers, and ruffled his mop of unruly curls.  
"Oh, I see you've made coffee. Brilliant. Black, two sugars...please." He grabs an empty mug from a nearby cupboard and thrusts it toward John.  
John stands stock still, staring at his best mate with narrowed eyes, and a furrowed brow. His lips pressed together in a thin line, John snatched the mug from Sherlock. Then, trudged across the kitchen - muttering curses as he went. 

"Way ta go, Wils” Anna clapped Sherlock on the back as she took her leave.  
"Wot?!" he shrugged, incredulously.

V. 

On a bright lovely day in early Spring, Anna and John are enjoying a little alone time during an outing at the National Zoo in Washington, DC.  
Their fingers are laced together as they meander casually along, but Anna is distracted by a Google search that John pulled up on her smart phone. 

"John, have you actually seen some of this stuff? It's quite racy."  
"Apparently, some of the people who read my blog and follow the ridiculous adventures I've had with Sherlock are quite creative."  
"And you're okay with this?"  
"Well, it is what it is, Luv. Nothing more..." 

John tries to reassure Anna by being nonchalant, but some of the artwork, though brilliantly rendered is incredibly explicit.

"How would they know about your scar or your red pants, John? Those are extremely personal details, don't you think?"  
"I'm just about sure that my red pants are public knowledge thanks to a few women scorned."  
"You're awfully good natured about this. Wow, have a look at this one... The detail is stunning. Well, there is one common detail they've all gotten spot on, though." Anna turns her phone, and shows John a drawing.  
"That's par for the course, Anna. Are you upset by this?"  
"No. I mean, if you're not upset by it, who am I to dicker about it? So, you're either a badass lil' hedgehog in a chunky jumper scurrying after an otter with a suspiciously familiar blue scarf, and Byronic curls, or a sex crazed red pants wearing..."  
"I'm sorry Anna. I've upset you. You're just too kind to say."  
"No, I'm good. Really. Actually, John... Some of these are kinda hot. Check out this one..." Anna shows John a rendering of himself and Sherlock enmeshed in a very public carnal act.

John stops, turns toward Anna and smiles. "D'ya wanna give that one a go, Luv? I saw a little nook that would be perfect."  
"Where?!" she excitedly asks.  
"Just down that path...” he points. "Over there, near the otter enclosure." John chuckled.  
"We really shouldn't." She looks up and to the right and grins wickedly. "But we've got a few minutes while Sherlock and Marley are on the carousel. I can hear her laughing from here."  
"Are you sure, Luv?  
"No. But let's do it anyway. C'mon Jawwn! For science!..." she laughs.

John circles his arm around Anna's waist and the two head toward John's secret alcove.  
The music from the carousel stops suddenly, the two turn to face each other with a worried look, then quickly head back to investigate.  
Before they reach the entrance, they run directly into Sherlock. 

"Sherlock!! Where's Marley? Is there something wrong?" Anna breathed excitedly as she pushed past him in search of her niece. Much to her relief, Marley was perched atop a giant cuttlefish, giggling and swinging her legs.

"Marley!! Oh... Oh sweetie!..." Anna threw her arms around the child, and hugged her tightly.  
"Auntie, I can't breathe." she mumbled. "What's wrong? Are you crying?"  
"No, sweetie. I'm fine." she sniffled. "Just got a little worried when the carousel stopped before it was s'posed to, that's all." Anna cups her niece's face in her hands, and kisses her forehead.  
"Sherlock asked the nice man to stoppit so that you and Dr Watson could get on too. We saved y'all a place to sit. See? Look..." Marley motions toward a tiger, and a wolf.  
"I love you, little girl. Who's my favorite M & M?" Anna asks, as she sweeps a few rogue curls from Marley's face.  
"I am?" Marley shrugged.  
"Yes. You. Are." Anna cooed as she pulled the youngling into another hug.

John takes in the interaction between Anna and Marley, and breathes a sigh of relief.  
"Bloody hell, Sherlock. What were you thinking? You scared the bejeezus out of us with this little stunt of yours. Nice going, mate."  
"Marley and I were simply enjoying ourselves, and wanted you both to join us." Sherlock threw up his hands, and wrinkled his nose as he explained. "I hadn't accounted for Anna's excitability. Nor for yours, Jawn.”  
"Yeah... No shit, Sherlock." John huffs. 

VI.

John, Sherlock, and Anna are dressed to the nines. John looks absolutely resplendent in his jacket, kilt and brogues. And Sherlock looks quite dapper in his tuxedo. Anna looks as radiant as she feels, in her backless floor length lace dress with velvet back cowl. 

They're waiting for a hired car to take them into town to attend a function at the National Building Museum. It might have been a fun and glamorous evening for the trio, had it not been for Mycroft's meddling.  
But they've decided to make the most of it. 

Anna is fussing over Sherlock's bowtie while he fidgets, and rolls his eyes petulantly.  
"Hold still wontcha please?!" Anna pleads with the detective.  
"Stop your interminable smoothing and rearranging. I can do it myself, Anna." Sherlock grouses as he smacks at Anna's hands.  
"If that were true, it wouldn't be catty-wompus. Somehow you always manage to put on your ties crooked, Wils."  
"Wholly untrue. When I deign to wear one, I tie them perfectly. It's the minor adjustments where things tend to go awry." He sulks as he shrugs the shoulders of his jacket into place. 

Anna finishes adjusting Sherlock's tie and takes a step back to admire her handiwork. She smiles at him, lifts her index finger and taps him on the end of his nose. "BOOP!" 

John laughs out loud as he admires Anna's cheeky interplay with Sherlock. 

Anna turns to him and winks, with a self satisfied grin. He closes the space between them, places his hands on her waist, closes his eyes and inhales deeply.  
"You smell fantastic. What are you wearin', Luv?"  
"Lavender and Scottish Shortbread Cookies."  
"Mmmph..." John hums. He leans in to whisper in her ear "You smell delicious. Wonder if you taste as good as you smell?" 

Anna smiles nervously. Her cheeks begin to glow as she blushes a lovely shade of fuchsia. John reaches for Anna's wrist, nuzzles it and places a soft kiss there.  
"Delicious." he murmurs.  
She smiles and chuckles softly. Sherlock shakes his head and begins to scowl at the duo. Curling his upper lip in displeasure at their open display of affection.

"Anna, where is your transmitter? Considering the form fitting nature of your dress, its location is not readily apparent." Sherlock asks, in a bid to change the emotional temperature of the room.  
"It's in my evening bag, Wils. And my earpiece is well hidden in my ear, under my hair."  
Sherlock glides over to Anna, ghosts his fingertips over the shell of her ear and does indeed find her earpiece. Though that isn't the real reason for his touches.  
"Might one assume yours is concealed in your sporran, John?"  
"What's going on, mate? Why are you so worried about earpieces and bloody transmitters?" 

Sherlock shakes his head and shrugs as grabs Anna by the arm and pulls her away from John.  
"You're worried about Mycroft, aren't you?"  
"No, not particularly. It's just... Erm..."

Anna's face softens, and she lifts Sherlock's chin with her fingers. She meets his eyes and steps in close to speak to him.  
"This is about John and me, isn't it?"

Sherlock quirks his chin, nods and casts his eyes down to the floor. 

"Sherlock..." Anna sighs. "Please look at me." 

Sherlock closes his eyes, and shakes his head.

"Please. Hey..." she implores. "Sherlock, I know the kinda man you are. You met me first, remember? Once, Sherlock. Just once would have been nice. But it wasn't in the cards for us, was it? Not in any conventional sense, hmm?"  
"No. I suppose not." 

Anna pulls Sherlock into a hug, and speaks softly in his ear.  
"We're still friends, Sherlock. That'll never change. We just hafta sort out some of our more unusual habits. When we get home to Baker Street, we will. I promise. We kinda have to, dontcha think?"  
"Yes. The less than traditional aspects of our relationship deserve a proper airing. Perhaps a realignment of alotted time and attention are in order. And you are certainly correct that now is not the time for such a conversation to be had."

"I adore you, Wils. You're a grouchy, querulous, brilliantly frustrating man. And I wouldn't have it any other way." Anna chuckles as she rubs circles between Sherlock's shoulder blades, then begins to sing to him - 

♪Don't go changing, to try and please me♪  
♪You never let me down before...♪

Anna tenderly kisses Sherlock on the temple. Then gently brushes the backs of her fingers over his cheek, and smiles at him sweetly. He closes his eyes, and nuzzles the palm of her hand with barely the tip of his nose.

"Okay?..." Anna purred, in a smooth, silky mezzo.

Before Sherlock can formulate a reply, the doctor, the detective and the behaviorist receive a text.  
No need to wonder from whom. The alert tone tells them, without looking.

"Fecking Mycroft." John growls.  
"Okay guys... Time for us to Stop, collaborate, and listen!" Anna chortles.

Sherlock grins as they each fetch up their phone to have a look at the message:

Your chariot awaits  
Please come outside  
Do not keep me waiting  
MH

"C'mon fellas. Holmes the elder has spoken."  
"I didn't even know he was in Washington." John says, with a furrowed brow.  
"Nor did I." adds Sherlock. 

John grabs Anna's wrap from the back of a chair, lays it across her shoulders, giving them a light squeeze. 

She looks over her shoulder at John and Sherlock as she strides toward the front door.  
"C'mon then..." Anna places her hands on her hips and fans out her elbows. John takes one arm and Sherlock takes the other. They fling the front door open, and see two cars idling. The rear passenger side door to one of the cars opens and a familiar voice beckons Sherlock from its darkened interior.

"A word or two if you don't mind, Dear Brother..." Sherlock throws his head back and groans.  
"It's okay, Wils. We'll see you there." 

Sherlock trudges sullenly over the the waiting vehicle, but turns to wave before taking his seat, and slamming the door shut.

John waves the driver of the second car away, opens the door for Anna himself, takes her hand and helps her inside. He then goes around the rear of the vehicle and enters on the other side. 

Anna is waiting seductively with her legs crossed towards him as he sits down and slides across to close the distance between them.  
He reaches for her hand as the car leaves her brother's driveway. He threads their fingers together and pats the back of her hand. She smiles broadly at him, lays her head on his shoulder and sighs. Several minutes pass before either of them speak. 

"John?"  
"Yes, Luv?" He hums as he places a soft kiss on Anna's forehead.  
"Are you wearing any pants?"

John moves his sporran aside and rests Anna's hand over his crotch. He closes his hand over hers and gives his bollocks a squeeze. 

"Hmm... Going regimental, are we?" she giggles.

He grins devilishly.

"For you? Oh God, yes." 

**Author's Note:**

> Check out these videos on YouTube:
> 
> Joss Stone - God Only Knows  
> http://youtu.be/-aX647Fy8QU
> 
> Mos Def - Twilite Speedball (Instrumental)  
> http://youtu.be/9BGJaSr49Cg
> 
> Barbra Streisand - Somewhere  
> http://youtu.be/cAu3a7CMA84
> 
> Porno for Pyros - Pets  
> http://youtu.be/H833o5lnB2E
> 
> Vanilla Ice - Ice Ice Baby Instrumental (referenced as text alert)  
> http://youtu.be/WEt4Rfwe7Cw
> 
> DIANA KRALL "Just The Way You Are"  
> http://youtu.be/YiOYsnET6Iw
> 
>    
> Alton Brown's Homemade Marshmallows  
> http://altonbrown.com/homemade-marshmallow-recipe/
> 
> A respectful nod to red pants, hedgehogs & otters and... the fandom juggernaut that is ✨Johnlock✨.  
> There really is an _otter enclosure ___at the National Zoo, by the way... ;~)
> 
> Marley's middle name is “Mae”, so Anna calls her an "M&M".
> 
> Marley's cuttlefish:  
> 
> 
>  
> 
>   
> 
> 
>  
> 
> On Going Regimental - Kilt Discussions - Brotherhood of the Kilt  
> http://www.kiltsrock.com/forum/topic/17993-on-going-regimental/
> 
>  
> 
> Not Beta'd. Or BritPicked.  
> (As usual - Editing/Revising on the fly after reading and re-reading. Study long, study wrong...)


End file.
